


GameGrumps: Love's No Joke (shitty short version)

by MidnightMuffin



Category: Gamegrumps - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Egobang - Freeform, F/M, GameGrumps, M/M, Polygrumps, ShipGrumps, Virginity, gay fluff, razzaflap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6938917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightMuffin/pseuds/MidnightMuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unless you have bleach on your nightstand, I suggest not reading this. But I wanna leave it up when I finally get the new version out to see how much I've changed. I'm honestly scared to go back to this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this is a fanfiction shipping real people who are most likely straight. This was rewritten several times and will come in parts. There's five in total not counting the prologue and rewritten end chapter and personally I think it's a little short, but I've had writer's block recently and was getting nowhere. Nevertheless, please enjoy and comment what you think below.

January 6, 1990

Dan sniffled. Why would Damian do that? He thought he could trust him. All Dan wanted to do was go home. He hated school. He hated everybody. He hated Damian. He hated himself.

Dan whimpered, closing his eyes tight. "Make it stop..." he whined. Soon the day was over. Dan immediately went up to his room and sobbed into his pillow. He would never trust another guy again, especially not date one.

Damian was never gay in the first place. He was accused of being so several times just because he felt bad for Dan, so he finally dumped the poor kid and told his stupid little group of friends to make fun of him.

Damian had no right to do it, but Dan still felt cursed for being gay. All the other kids were straight as far as he knew.

\---

April 11, 1996

Dan was confused when he had gotten a crush on his best friend Adam. He had no idea whatsoever, seeing as how Dan was extremely good at hiding things.

Dan finally decided to tell Adam his secret. The only people he had ever told in the past were his parents. They were shocked at first, but didn't disown him or anything. In fact, they encouraged it.

Dan had also told his sister Dana when they were much younger, around the age of 14. The same thing had happened with her: She was shocked at first, but ended up encouraging it.

Still, Dan was nervous. Adam wasn't exactly family even though he was treated like it. Dan was afraid of how he'd react. He was afraid of how anyone would react. He had been terrified since his experience with Damian.

Dan trudged out of his room, constantly thinking about running back for the rest of the night. "Heeey, Adam!" he asked, walking up to his friend. "...C-Can I tell you something?"

"Mm-hm." Adam replied, still staring at his occasionally flashing phone screen. Dan rubbed the back of his neck as he chewed on his bottom lip nervously, glancing toward the direction of his bedroom door. "I need to tell you something important..." he said softly.

Adam continued the staring contest with his phone. "Mmmm." he moaned. Dan took a deep breath and tried to build up his confidence. Then he said it.

"I'm gay."

"That's nice." Adam said, staring at his phone screen for a second. Then his eyes widened. "Did..." he started, shocked. "Did you just say...you're gay?"

Dan became nervous again. "Y-Yes?" he replied. "The only people I ever told was my immediate family and I've..." He voice trailed off as he told Adam he had a crush on him.

Adam narrowed his eyes, confused. "Wha?" he asked. "Anyway...H-Have I told you I'm bisexual? We...We could date...if you don't mind..."

Dan's eyes brightened. He leaned forward and kissed Adam on the lips, shocking both of them. "I wouldn't mind." Dan said, blushing madly. "Just...don't tell anybody, okay? If anyone asks, I'm bi too."

Adam grinned. "Of course." he responded with a nod.

\---

November 14, 2001

Dan pulled away, breathing heavily. "So..." he said softly. "Do you wanna, maybe...have se--" Tommy interrupted him, pushing him off his lap and digging his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Ah, my girlfriend's textin' me." he said. Dan's eyes widened. "You have a girlfriend? W-Why are you cheating on her?" Tommy paused, sending a text to his girlfriend.

"She's a slut," he answered. "I had to get away from her. I just picked some random stoner off the street and started flirting with him. Besides, I'm not even gay. Everything about you makes me sick."

Dan's lip trembled. "But...I-I..." he stuttered, trying to thinking of ways to reason with the man in front of him. Tommy stood up, turning off his phone.

"I don't like you, okay?" he said in a firm tone. "Besides, I'm gonna dump my bitch girlfriend when she gets home. I don't want her nor you in my house anymore."

"Wha--" Dan began. Tommy grabbed his wrist and shoved him out the door, slamming it before he could say anything. Dan was forced to walk home in the cold with nothing but his thin jacket.

"I'll never date another man again..." he whimpered, staring at the closed door. "You can't trust them. Why was I cursed to be this way?" His eyes welled up with tears as he finally walked away from the house.

"I still can't believe Adam broke up with me for some stupid girl. Our relationship was going so well..." He sniffled, attempting to blink back his tears.

"I really hope a car will hit me on my way back..." Dan whimpered, finally letting his tears fall as he stepped into the road. "That'd be nice. Maybe some weed will make me feel better if I do get home. That's the only thing I can think of that'll take the pain away..."

\---

(Takes place whenever the fuck Brian and Rachel got married cause Google can't seem to find the exact date)

Dan's eyes widened. He had just walked in on his crush proposing to his girlfriend. "...will you marry me?" Brian finished. Rachel grinned, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Oh my gosh, Brian...You know my answer is yes!" she replied, making Dan's heart split into two.

Once Brian slipped the ring onto Rachel's finger, Dan dropped to his knees. This caught the couple's attention. "Oh, hey Dan!" Brian greeted, not seeming to notice his friend's distress. "Ya comin' to our wedding?" Rachel hugged him tightly.

Dan's eye twitched. "I, uh..." he said, slowly standing up. "I gotta go." He slowly backed out of the room and took off out the front door, tears rolling down his cheeks.

\---

June 9, 2014

Dan noticed how everyone seemed annoyed by him, but he tried to act sweet around them and ignore it as best as he could. Even though it was secretly killing him inside.

Episode 26 of Wind Waker was his favorite, since that was the episode Dan got a crush on his best friend the Arin Hanson. He didn't expect it at all, and he certainly wasn't going to tell his crush his feelings any time soon. Whatever Arin said about Suzy didn't stop Dan from falling in love with him.

What Dan didn't get is that Arin looked up to him and worshipped him but when he got the chance, he always snapped at Dan for no reason. Dan assumed it was because Arin missed Jon. He replaced the guy after all, so Arin did kind of had to the right to be mad.

Or maybe it was just Dan's fault for being so unlikable... But what did he have to change?

One day, Dan read a YouTube comment that drove him over the edge. It was a Top Comment, too.

367 likes and 15 replies hating on him...

It had been right before a session, but Dan didn't even bother to move himself or his laptop from the kitchen table when he noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks. His lip trembled and he rested his head in his arms on the table.

•••

Right before he put the chip in his mouth as he took another step, Arin stopped in his tracks and looked at the sobbing Dan with wide eyes. He couldn't stand to see his friend act this way. He must've seemed like a complete monster to his new co-host.

Arin wanted to be a good friend to Dan, he really did. He was just too jealous. Everything about this tall, amazing guy was perfect, and Arin hated it.

Arin tiptoed over to Dan and looked at his laptop's screen. He saw the meanest fucking comment ever. It was a Jon fan complaining about how he loved Jon and hated Dan and a bunch of other stupid shit.

Arin reported the comment as spam and blocked the commenter himself. He was so tempted to just hug Dan tightly and tell him everything was gonna be okay.

But he didn't. He couldn't...

Arin then closed the laptop and ate the chip his was holding, both noises getting Dan's attention. "Hey, c'mon," Arin said as Dan looked up with puffy red eyes. "We have one more episode to film."

Dan whimpered and sniffled as he stood up. This broke Arin's heart. He was sure Dan thought he didn't care about him. Dan rubbed at his eyes as he followed Arin down the hall to the Grump Room.

•••

Dan hadn't talked at all since the episode started up until the six minute mark. Arin had had to entertain himself and the lovelies that would soon be watching, but now he was starting to get worried. "Are you okay, man?" he asked.

Dan sighed sadly, straightening his dark blue hoodie. "No..." he whimpered. "I'm not okay. I'm never okay..." Arin raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Dan breathed shakily. "Well..." he began softly, closing his eyes tightly to avoid Arin's gaze. "I've noticed how everyone seems to hate me. The commenters, the other Grumps, especially you. Maybe it's because Jon left or they just don't like me in general but..." He gasped for air and covered his mouth. "...What'd I ever do to them?" he whimpered, his eyes welling up with tears.

Arin immediately felt bad about jokingly treating his new co-host like shit. He felt as if his heart just got punched. He almost wanted to cry himself.

"Maybe things'd be better for everyone if I just...left forever..." Dan muttered, almost too quiet for anybody to hear. "Just like Jon, I'll go work on my own channel. Except...the fans won't miss me. They'd be happy to throw a fuckin' party." Arin heard Dan sniffle and shakily breathe out, and his own lip trembled.

Arin's eyes widened. "No..." he said gently, finally pausing the game and scooting over next to Dan. "I'm sure they'll get over Jon soon and start to love you. I love you. You're actually a pretty cool and sweet guy. You're the nicest person I've ever met, I'm not joking!"

Dan didn't respond. His heart didn't skip a beat nor did he even look up when he heard Arin say he loved him. He was sure Arin was only saying this to make him feel better.

The two men sat in silence, other than Dan listening to his own sniffling and shaky breathing. Arin suddenly did something neither of them expected. He hugged Dan for the first time. 

Dan's eyes widened. His heart swelled and his breath hitched as he felt Arin's strong arms wrap around his skinny lightweight body.

"Don't cry, dude..." Arin said gently. "The people who hate you can go fuck themselves. I can go fuck myself. Well...I don't necessarily hate you, but I have been pretty fuckin' bitchy around you. I also noticed how I scared you the first time you saw me rage--"

"You just miss your best friend, that's all..." Dan whispered, pulling away from the hug. He did regret it though, seeing as how Arin's touch made him feel all safe and warm. It was like a little helpless stick bug was being hugged by a soft and cuddly teddy bear.

It was getting harder for Dan to not just start crying again. Arin turned him around to face him. "Yes," he admitted, resting his hands on Dan's shoulders. "But that's no excuse for me to act like a toddler throwing a fit around my new best friend." He smiled thoughtfully.

"The fact that you would even consider me to be your actual friend instead of just your old co-host's replacement surprises me." Dan said in a monotonous tone.

Arin studied Dan's sad face, feeling more and more guilty. Letting out a sigh, he held out his arms and let Dan fall onto his chest to sob all his feelings out. It was a mix of sadness, anger, and stress. As he ran his fingers through Dan's mussed hair, Arin soon realized Suzy wasn't the only person he loved very much.

After a few minutes, Dan whimpered as he leaned up. "I'm so sorry..." he said softly, wiping his eyes. Arin cupped his face. "No, I'm sorry," he began. "I should've been so much nicer to you. Instead, I was selfish and payed more attention to someone who I'm sure is never coming back than a person who can very well be my new best friend."

Arin placed a gentle platonic kiss on Dan's forehead. He was afraid Dan was going to freak out about it, but he acted as if nothing happened. This surprised Arin.

"The finales of games are normally supposed to be happy..." Dan murmured. "I'm so sorry..." Arin was extremely tempted to lean in and kiss him, to assure him everything was going to be alright, but he was almost positive Dan was straight and he had no idea what Suzy would do. 

Instead, he just pulled Dan close and hugged him tightly.

•••

"Whoo!" Dan whooped as he wrapped his arms around Arin. "That ending was awesome! We're hugging. We're hugging!" He seemed excited by it, even though this was the third time they had hugged.

Dan and Arin were just finishing up their finale video for Wind Waker. "Whoa there, Huggles." Arin said, feeling his face heat up. Dan, ashamed, quickly pulled away. Arin bit his lip, remembering Dan was still very easy to hurt.

Though very easy to embarrass.

Arin looked around before pulling Dan close, making both of them blush hard. "You can hug me..." Arin said softly, gently grabbing onto Dan's forearms. Dan seemed to get lost in Arin's eyes, for he just stared at his face without talking or blinking for almost a minute.

Finally after what seemed like forever, Dan blinked and leaned in close to Arin. Dan jumped when Arin leaned down to his height, since he was slouching and Arin was sitting up straight.

Dan's face turned pink. Arin was way too close for comfort. If he didn't know any better, Dan would've thought Arin was trying to kiss him.

And he was.

"Um...Arin?" Dan asked nervously, beginning to sweat. Arin finally backed up, making Dan breathe a small, barely-noticable sigh of relief.

Arin's next sentence nearly made Dan pass out from blushing too hard. "I like your beautiful eyes." Dan rubbed the back of his neck. "...I-I, uh...Yeah. T-Thank you...Arin. Um..." he stuttered, turning his gaze away from his new friend. "S-Stop it, you have a wife..."

"Not for long." Arin muttered, licking his lips. Dan's eyes widened, and he looked back to the younger man. "Y-You're not gonna kill her, are you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Arin smiled at this, amused. "No, of course not!" he said. "I just...love your beautiful eyes and your adorably soft curly hair..." Not objecting to Arin running his fingers through his friend's hair, Dan blushed harder with Arin's every word.

After all, he was just eating up all this attention from his crush. "Ah, like an angel's. I love your voice and your laugh...And that cute little smile..."

Dan felt as if he might faint. "Are you...flirting with me?" he asked, still trying to take his mind off all the compliments so his face could cool off.

"Sure, you could call it that." Arin said before winking, which made Dan more uncomfortable as his face became even pinker. He cupped Dan's face and smiled sweetly, causing the older man's breath to hitch.

"I love everything about you..." he said softly. "You're perfect, and it makes me jealous." He sounded serious.

Arin smirked and pulled Dan down by the arms as he leaned back on the couch arm, making it where they were snuggled up next to each other.

"I-I-I'm confused." Dan said nervously. Arin got real close to his face again. "Don't be~" he whispered, making Dan try to back away as much as possible.

Arin wrapped his arms around Dan, rubbing his back to calm him down. Arin looked Dan in the eyes before closing his own and leaning in. Dan's heart beat quickly as he did the same.

The two men were just about to kiss when they heard a door open and jumped. "Hey, Arin! You done recording your stupid game yet?" It was Ross, and he sounded kinda pissed.

"Ahaha, next time on GameGrumps!" Arin said nervously. He quickly finished up the recording, confusing Ross a little.

As Ross left the room, Dan and Arin got back in their little cuddling position. "You can sleep if you want..." Arin said softly, and Dan nodded before getting comfortable and closing his eyes. Hearing the sound of Arin's heartbeat made him feel safe and content.

Arin rested his head on Dan's and closed his own eyes. Once again, he heard the door open, and it annoyed him a little.

"What are you doing?" a female voice asked. Arin and Dan opened their eyes at nearly the same time, and Dan looked worried. "We...I can explain..." he said nervously, starting to blush again.

Arin raised up, taking Dan with him. "It's nothing," he said firmly, looking at up his wife as he hugged Dan like a stuffed animal. "I'm not cheating on you, don't worry! This is bro stuff, you wouldn't understand."

"I think I understand plenty." Suzy huffed. With that, she walked out of the room, not bothering to close the door. Arin rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Wait! Babe!" he called out, and grunted in disappointment.

Dan giggled. "Bro stuff?" he asked. Arin grinned. "Well, yeah." Dan cried out in surprise when Arin stood up and carried him to the open door. He didn't think he was that light. "Would you mind closing that for me?" Arin asked, and Dan reached for the doorknob.

Little did either of them know, "bro stuff" was just the beginning.

•••

"Oh my God, they are so perfect for each other!" Suzy exclaimed, squealing at the new memories and thoughts she pictured in her head.

Ross grinned. "Arin and Dan would make such a cute couple..." he admitted. "One of them's gonna come out of the closet and then they're gonna become boyfriends and then they're gonna get married and have the cutest wedding ever and then adopt childre--"

Suzy quickly covered his mouth. "Shut up, you're gonna make my heart burst! But the way Dan was all sad and then Arin tried to cheer him up by hugging him and cuddling with him? And all those cute little compliments...UGH!"

Ross was having fantasies of his own. "I ship them so hard!" he said. "What they're doing is shit you would see in a fanfiction. Possibly one that I would write. I really fuckin' want them to kiss. I would pay good money just to see that happen."

\---


	2. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lookie, new chapter! Aren't you happy? I think I might actually update this thing every day. Also, the first time I wrote this, it wasn't actually March 10. I remember mentioning that they were recording the second video of OcARINa and I decided to look up what day they uploaded that (their upload schedule is bullshit) and it just so happened to be March 10 and then it stuck.

March 10, 2016

Dan was going to marry his girlfriend Amy. He had excitedly told his friends about it several days before, and just shrugged it off when he saw Arin didn't seem too happy about it.

Amy had long blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, a unique personality, and a voice that'd make you melt immediately when you first heard it.

Dan had asked her to buy something super expensive by helping him raise money, never telling her what it was. He eventually got enough money to buy an amazing diamond ring for his girl just as pretty as her.

All that changed when he found her cheating on him with some random guy. He became depressed, and didn't want to record anything for at least a month. This caused a little delay for their Ocarina and horse game playthroughs, making some fans angry.

\---

(I'm too stupid to figure out how to italicize it)

"Look," Arin said calmly. "I know you just discovered that Amy cheated on you, but I--"

"SHUT UP! Shut the fuck up! I don't love you in that way, Arin! I just don't!" Dan shouted, causing Arin to take a step back in fear.

Dan's eyes widened at his own words and he looked down, resting his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Ar..." he whimpered, his eyes welling up with tears.

Arin blinked, his eyes darting from his friend to the front door. "Arin," Dan began, looking up. "I need to tell you something important. You need to promise to keep this a secret and not tell anyone else." Arin sat down next to him and smiled thoughtfully. "I promise." he replied with a nod.

"I'm...gay," Dan said, causing Arin's eyes to widen. "I don't like girls. I've just been dating them to distract myself. I don't care about Amy at all. In fact, I couldn't care less about her.

"I've always wanted to see who the right person for me was, but I finally gave up when I decided to marry Amy. And now, she's gone forever. I have to keep fucking searching..." His voice broke as he finished his last sentence.

Arin pulled Dan into a hug. "Don't worry," he said softly, running his fingers through his friend's hair. "You'll find that person someday. He might be right in front of you and you just don't know it." He winked, thankful that Dan didn't see it.

Dan leaned up and smiled. "Thanks, Big Cat." All this attention from his real crush was making his cheeks turn pink, and Arin just HAD to cup his face. "Yeah. Wait..." Arin said, making Dan pause his breathing. "Are you...blushing?"

Dan's face only became hotter and redder. "N-No..." he mumbled, moving his gaze away from Arin's cute face. The younger man grinned. "You totally are, dude. It's adorable!"

Dan was sure his face was gonna melt. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "Now...can you please take my lazy ass over to the Grump Space?" Arin chuckled lightly. "Of course."

\---

Nobody knew about it, but Arin and Suzy divorced. Suzy had told Arin that she'd be fine, and to go be with Dan. She and Ross had known something was up from the very start, ever since they'd caught them snuggling on the couch nearly three years before. Back when Dan had short hair...

Dan had loved Arin since Wind Waker. He remembered perfectly that it was episode 26, always keeping the dear memory close. He had once gotten frightened during Shattered Memories and he jumped, ending up wrapping his arms around Arin's waist as the younger man accidentally paused the game. Dan had done this mostly on purpose. Back then, Arin was still crushing on Jon.

Arin loved Dan since he started actually paying attention to him right before the finale. So far, they hadn't seen a single comment from that one Jon fan who made Dan cry so long ago. The fact that Arin reported the comment must've worked, and the commenter stayed away.

They always made "jokes", and shared their secrets. Though there was one secret they never told each other or anyone else. They loved each other, but they were too shy and scared to tell.

Not long after Suzy and Arin divorced, she decided to go date Barry. Arin was perfectly okay with it since he knew Barry well and they were good friends. Arin trusted Barry enough to let him date his Suzy.

Dan and Arin were recording another episode of Ocarina of Time. Dan had opened up the episode with "Sup, babies! All I'm wearing right now is a bathrobe since I just got out of the shower." and Arin had replied with "You look hot", which ironically made Dan freeze.

Arin made a joke about teenagers about two or three minutes into the episode. "Dear diary!" Dan mimicked in a high-pitched voice. "I have a crush on my best friend!" Arin stared at him. "Whoa, whoa..." he said, making Dan stifle a seemingly innocent laugh.

"Since my penis is ice-cold," Arin mumbled, softly singing to himself. "Warm it up with yo assho'. Bet you like it in the butt... You got me fallin' on the floor like your underwear!"

Dan stared at him, a serious frown on his face. Arin saw him in the corner of his eye and started giggling like a little preteen, making Dan smile lovingly.

Dan giggled himself, feeling his face heat up. "But Arin! I don't have any underwear." Arin smirked, his own cheeks turning a bright and very noticeable shade of pink. "Oh, that's right~"

Dan rolled his eyes, smiling. Arin paused for a second, biting his lip. "You know how I divorced with Suzy?" he asked. "How I won't tell you who I have a crush on now? Well, I wanna ask them out later. It's a he, so that narrows it down. I also plan to kiss him, so...could I practice on you?"

Dan pressed his lips firmly together, his eyes going wide as his face became hot and pink. "Um...S-Sure," he stuttered, watching as Arin scooted closer to him. "S-Shouldn't we do this between episodes?"

Arin pulled Dan's hands away from his red face, admiring it with an affectionate and even curious look. "Of course not, I wanna see how you react!" he chirped. "B'sides, Suze says you've always wanted to kiss me so why pass up the chance?"

Before Dan could ask how Suzy knew about what he always wanted, his lips were suddenly met by Arin's. His heart and head rushed with powerful feelings, and he wanted this to last forever. Dan was a little surprised when Arin slipped his tongue inside his mouth.

Before long, Arin pulled away from their full-on make-out session. Dan felt a little disappointed by this, but smiled anyway. "Y-Yeah, so..." Arin said softly, moving his deep gaze from Dan's eyes to the floor behind him.

Dan's smile fell. He felt as if the fact that Arin just kissed him meant nothing, that his best friend didn't share the same feelings and loved him back. He didn't know that he was wrong.

Dan's lip trembled and he let out a very noticeable whimper as his eyes welled up with tears, catching Arin's attention. The younger man looked up and hugged his friend. "Dan! What's wrong?"

"My love for my best friend means nothing to you..." Dan said softly. "What we just did means nothing to you. You're just trying to push me over the edge, aren't you? You're trying to break me, aren't you? You're--!"

"You're the man I have a crush on." Arin interrupted, speaking calmly as he looked into his friend's eyes. Dan's heart nearly stopped as his eyes widened and his face turned pink. He blinked. "I...W-What?" he breathed.

"I tricked you into thinking I have a crush on someone else," Arin continued in the same voice. "I tricked you into kissing me. I've had a crush on you since fucking Wind Waker ended..." He trailed off, looking away as his pale face begin to turn red.

Dan smiled. "I've had a crush on you since we started playing Wind Waker. Part 26 to be exact. Almost three years, man." Arin gave a cute small smile, looking back up at Dan.

"I've had the same trouble, thinking you only liked me as a friend. But...I'm single again. D-Do you maybe, like...wanna go on our first date?" he asked softly, timidly pushing his hair out of his eyes.

•••

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think after part five is uploaded, I'll finally finish the school au summary in Notes on my iPod. I literally use that shit for EVERYTHING. I don't think it's even close to being done. Also, can somebody tell me how to italicize shit? I'm too stupid and really new to AO3.


	3. Part 2

"So you haven't dated a guy since you were 22...is that what you're telling me?" Arin asked. Dan giggled. He and Arin were laying next to each other in Arin's bed, with Dan on the right, while facing each other.

"Pretty much..." Dan said softly. Arin raised his eyebrows. "Dude, that's at least 14 years! Almost two decades! And you're turning 37 in a few days." Dan frowned sadly. "Don't remind me of how old I am..."

"Aw, dude!" Arin whined, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "If anyone's old, it's my dad. You're not even 40 yet. It's not like you're the oldest Grump anymore. Brian joined, too! And, um, just between you and me, I've always liked you better out of the two of you. Probably because you were the more adorable one that I couldn't keep my eyes off of."

Dan smiled, closing his eyes. "Dude, stahp..." he mumbled into Arin's baggy pink t-shirt, attempting to hide his blushing face.

Arin was the one to giggle this time. "It's true! I actually had a massive crush on you before Grumps was created. Sometimes you're too cute for my health. Literally, you're diabetically cute." He sighed. "I wish people would stop harassing each other about shipping us. It's literally canon that we love each other."

Dan looked up at him. "Yeah! I saw these two people arguing recently. One person said 'Shipping real people is wrong' and the other said 'Well, Arin himself ships the fuck out of it so what do you gotta say about that?' and I thought it was kinda funny."

Arin smiled thoughtfully and kissed Dan on the cheek. He then glanced at the clock. "Welp, it's late. We should get some sleep." Dan turned around and Arin wrapped an arm around his waist. 

"Whatever you say, Big Cat."

•••

March 11, 2016

Dan turned on his phone. He sat on the edge of the bed on his side, planning on sending Brian a text to tell him that he and Arin were dating and to send out a Twitter update.

"And...send." Dan murmured to himself, careful not to wake his boyfriend up. Arin woke up anyway. He let out a small chuckle, making Dan's breath hitch in surprise and fear. "Just what I like to see in the morning..."

Arin suddenly leaned up to grab Dan and pull him down onto the bed, giving himself an gorgeous upside-down view. "My lovely boyfriend in nothing but boxers and a blue t-shirt that's obviously way too big for him..." he continued with a sweet smile. "I love him for it. Besides, he looks way too cute in it."

Dan blushed and giggled as Arin leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Everyone's probably up and here by now," the younger man said, a bit more energy in his voice. "I bought you some skittles last night. They should be still good. You can eat them during our first episode of the day."

"You're too sweet." Dan said with a smile as Arin leaned up.

•••

"I know this is our first full episode as boyfriends, but I feel as if nothing's changed..." Dan complained. He and Arin were sitting on the Grump Couch, both of them wrapped up in a large fuzzy blanket. They were leaning against the left couch arm, Dan resting on Arin's chest.

"Same," Arin muttered, beginning to rapidly press the A button. "Damn it!" Dan giggled softly. There was a knock on the door. "Kevin, pause this." Arin said, gently pushing Dan up off his chest.

Dan quickly paused the game as Arin got up to walk to the door. "What?" Arin asked, watching Ross shove a gummy bear into his mouth.

"Whatcha doin'?" Ross asked, not bothering to at least swallow his food. Arin sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. "Hanging out and playing video games with my best friend in the whole wide world who I love and care for very much, thanks. You know, recording?"

Dan stifled a giggle. "What are you doing on the couch, tho?" Ross asked before digging another gummy bear out of the plastic bag. "Cuddling? Making out? Fucking? All of the above?"

Arin sighed. "Please tell me it's all of the above." Ross said. Dan turned around to look at them, his long arms dangling over the back of the couch. Arin rolled his eyes. "Why'd you interrupt our episode?" he asked.

"One," Ross began, holding up his fingers. "I wanted to know what you were doing because I was bored. Two, I wanted to know if you wanted any gummy bears." He then held the bag above his mouth, letting the last three fall inside. "Whoops."

"You're just spying on us, aren't you?" Arin asked. Ross darted his eyes from left to right. "Nooo..." Arin slowly shut the door, Ross turning his upper body sideways to keep his gaze on him through the crack with a grin on his face.

Arin only took two steps before Ross opened the door again. "I ate your children!" Arin balled up his fists. "We don't have any children!" he exclaimed.

"We?" Ross said with a smirk, raising an eyebrow. Arin turned around and forcefully pushed the door close. "Now..." he said softly, walking back over to the couch. "Where were we?"

•••

March 12, 2016

Dan murmured lazily in his sleep. It was very early in the morning during a grump session, so much so that the sun wasn't even up. Poor Dan had already fallen asleep, and Arin was struggling to stay awake. He was struggling to just keep his eyes open.

"A fucking boss, are you serious?" Arin muttered. Just then, Brian walked into the room to get a game to play. He had stayed the night to work on something.

Brian had originally planned to just do it and leave, but by the end it was too late to go home. Somehow, he got more sleep than the exausted couple on the couch.

"Get down, Princess Tinkles..." Dan slurred in his sleep, and it really sounded like he said 'Princef Tanks'. By now, Arin only had one eye open. He yawned loudly, getting the attention of Brian.

"You really should get some sleep, man." Brian said, walking over to sit on the couch. Arin shook his head, leaning up to wake up a little. "No!" he protested. "I gotta finish this video at least. We have three minutes left!"

"Okay, finish the episode," Brian said. "How about I take Dan to bed for you? One or both of you might get hurt if you try to carry him." Arin's eyes began to close again. "Okay..." he said, taking a long time to finish his sentence. "...but don't have sex with him or you're dead."

"That'd be considered rape," Brian said, getting up to walk behind the couch and pick up the sleeping Danny on the other side of Arin. "I'm no rapist. I don't rape people in their sleep or at all for that matter."

"Uh-huh." Arin slurred, making Brian roll his eyes with a smile. Arin was relieved when he saw he had one minute left. Brian carried Dan into the hallway to his and Arin's bedroom. His eyes widened when he heard what Dan said. "I love you so much... Thanks for taking me to bed, baby..."

Brian hoped Dan thought he was talking to Arin. "I know you're tired. I'm sorry, Big Cat..." Brian breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Dan did think he was talking to Arin.

Brian gently lay Dan on the bed under the large soft blanket. He walked out of the room as quickly as possible and quietly shut the door behind him, luckily not getting any of Dan's attention.

Brian stifled a laugh. "This is gonna be amazing," he thought. "This is my greatest prank yet! Dan's gonna wake up to see Arin beside him and they'll be so embarrassed! If only I could see their reactions."

He hadn't exactly payed attention to his text messages lately...

Brian sighed when he found Arin fully asleep on the couch with the game and capture still running. He saved Arin's game, and turned off the Nintendo 64 and capture before he gently shook Arin awake. "Hmm?" Arin mumbled.

"I'm sorry, but you're too heavy to carry. Come on." Brian said softly to Arin. Arin lazily stood up off the couch and trudged to his room, Brian guiding him through the darkness all the way to his and Dan's bed. "Thanks..." Arin whispered before Brian left the room.

Arin felt around for Dan's sleeping form and pulled him close. He kissed his cheek before closing his eyes. It didn't take long for the exausted man to fall asleep as well.

•••


	4. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was confused about the dates. I don't believe that one episode was posted in March, but I could be wrong. Who knows anymore, really?

March 14, 2016 (lol idk I'm confused about dates)

"So, what should we talk about during today's first episode?" Dan asked, sighing happily as Arin ran the blue brush through his mussed curly hair.

"I've got nothin' planned," Arin said. "Maybe we can talk about touching dicks or something. I know Tumblr freaks out when we talk about shit like that."

Dan giggled. Three seconds later, he winced. Arin paused. "Are you alright?" he asked in concern. Dan nodded. "Yeah, you just hit a tangle, that's all."

Gently moving past it, Arin smiled. "Maybe I can make a Tumblr account and act as a normal lovely," he suggested. "I can use my josu art skills to draw pictures of us kissing and fucking and I'll even write fanfictions. Nobody will ever know it was me."

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea." Dan giggled as Arin removed the brush from his hair. He turned around to face his lover, and Arin kissed his forehead.

Arin ran his fingers through Dan's hair. "It's so soft now..." he whispered. "Damn..." Dan giggled once again, blushing. "I know what we can talk about. My hair."

•••

Ross quietly opened the door a crack. Dan and Arin were playing video games as normal. "It fires a soul arrow," he heard Dan say as he moved his eyes over the words on the screen. "That's what your heart does when you fall in love~"

Arin stared at him. "Oh, shit. That's true..." he whispered. "I've felt it before. Have you felt it?" Dan chuckled lightly. "Yeah, why not?" he asked, a smile appearing on his face. Arin blinked. "I felt it with you."

Both men went silent, staring into each other's eyes as the younger man's expression melted from a wide-eyed stare to a look of nothing but pure love and affection.

Dan blushed. "Aw, Arin..." he said softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "You sweet son of a bitch." He petted Arin's hair like a cat, and Arin gently pushed against Dan's hand with the side of his face.

Arin smirked. "I can be sweeter after the episode~" he said in a low, quiet tone. Dan played along. "...Um..yeah! Y-You'll just have to show me how sweet you can be, 'baby'." He stifled a laugh.

Arin suddenly put a hand on Dan's upper right thigh, causing his eyes to widen. Ross blinked, his lips parting. "I, uh..." Dan said nervously. Arin moved his hand slowly toward Dan's crotch, making him whimper. "You like that?"

"Arin, s-stop," Dan whined, though he clearly wanted more. "You're gonna give me a boner." Arin began rubbing his thumb over the bulge. "You already have one, dude. Besides, you know you want it."

"I..." Dan said softly. "I...F-Fuck...I want it. I need it..." Arin suddenly pressed his lips against Dan's and the older man allowed him to slip his tongue inside.

Ross's eyes were completely wide, his face was red, and he knew he was gonna have to jack off sooner or later. He quickly but quietly shut the door again and went to the upstairs bathroom.

•••

"Well, I'm officially refreshed," Dan said proudly, pushing his hair back behind his ears. "You were right, Ar. Fucking does help relieve stress." Arin smiled. "Dan!" he said with a laugh, raising his voice a little to make the point clear.

"If you saw one of our recent Dark Souls 3 videos, you would know Arin and I are dating," Dan said proudly, nuzzling his lover's shoulder with the side of his face. "I love my Big Cat so much..."

Arin gently tossed the Wii remote next to him on the couch. He leaned backwards onto the couch arm, motioning for Dan to come snuggle with him.

Dan grinned, wrapping the blanket around himself and crawled over. He positioned himself to where his head was resting on Arin's chest, happily listening to his heartbeat once again with a cute smile on his face. Continuing to play the game, Arin gently petted Dan's head. "I love my snuggle man so much."

Dan smiled contentedly. "...Are you sure you wanna tell them?" Arin asked, making Dan's heart skip a beat. The older of the two sighed. "Maybe..."

The two men were silent for a few minutes.

"If you're not the person I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with, I honestly don't know what I'd do..." Dan mumbled. "My heart's been broken too many times. First Damian, then Adam, then Tommy. Men can be cruel."

"Yes..." Arin murmured, holding Dan close like a scared child. Dan sighed. "I never thought I'd come this far though," he began. "I went from being a scared gay little teenager to a 37-year-old unmarried mess that's in love with his best friend."

Arin kissed his forehead. "Who cares about the past? It's all about the present." Dan gave a small smile. "True dat." he mumbled. Arin hugged him tightly.

•••


	5. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's summer and everything so I have my days and nights mixed up. I honestly don't remember the last time I updated this damn story. It's literally 5 in the morning right now.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Arin shouted, standing up and waving the controller at the screen. Dan laughed, falling over onto the side of the couch. "Arin, stop..." he giggled.

Arin grabbed a pillow off the couch and threw it at Dan's face. "Shut up, man!" Dan covered his mouth with his hand. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"DAMN IT!" Arin yelled, picking up the controller and throwing it in Dan's direction. It almost hit his head. This made Dan nearly stop breathing. His eyes were wide and he looked terrified. "Are you trying to kill me?!"

Arin sighed, walking over to the couch to sit next to Dan. "I would never kill you, dude," he said, wrapping his arms around his cowering friend. "I love you too much."

Just as Arin pecked Dan's lips, Ross burst in the door. "Do you wanna--" he started, but then paused once he realized what Arin just did. "Did...DID YOU JUST KISS?!"

He put his hands on the sides of his head. "Oh, my God! All my dreams and fantasies are finally coming true!" Ross took off to the other room. "Ross, wait!" Dan called. "Damn it..."

•••

March 15, 2016

Pretty soon, everybody found out that Dan and Arin were dating. It wasn't a surprise, but what was shocking is that Suzy had recently announced that she and Barry were dating.

Dan had decided to tell everybody his secret. Arin had gathered everyone in the Grump Room, and Dan was nervous as hell. "Go ahead." Arin said softly, putting a hand on Dan's shoulder.

Dan sighed, still scared about what his friends would say. He flinched when Arin picked him up bridal style to go sit him on the couch, putting Dan next to Suzy and Ross.

Dan sighed. "Guys..." he started, causing everyone to look at him. "I have something to tell you." Suzy smiled thoughtfully. "Sure, what is it?" she asked.

Dan bit his lip, staring down at the floor. He sighed, his breath a bit shaky. "I'm gay," he said softly. "Like, fully gay. Not bisexual like Arin. I have no attraction to girls whatsoever, but I pretend I do. Also...Arin was the one to take my virginity." Everyone stared at him.

"HA! I always knew you were the gay one!" Brian suddenly said, pointing at Dan. "You remember that NSP video 'If We Were Gay' and how you said mostly I was gay?"

Noticing Dan's look of sadness and shame, Suzy glared at Brian. Barry narrowed his eyes in confusion. "I thought you said--" he began.

"I lied, okay?" Dan said, raising his voice a little bit. "I didn't wanna sell my virginity to just anybody. I wanted to wait for the right person, and I figured that was Arin since we love and are special to each other. I didn't get fucked by some stupid girl at a bar! That was all made up..."

Everyone was silent. Dan could feel tears pricking at his eyes. "I know I'm weird..." he whispered, trying to blink them away. "I'm not just the only entirely gay Grump, but I'm the only one who lost their virginity when they were almost 40." He let out a shaky breath, hugging his knees.

Suzy smiled, putting a hand on Dan's shoulder. "No, no," she said. "Gay people are awesome, and waiting for the right person is a great and smart idea! Who cares how old a person is when they lose their virginity? They can be 175 for all I care." Dan grinned, hiding a laugh.

Suzy squinted, holding up her right index finger. "Unless they're raped or something cause that's just sad." she said. Dan inhaled sharply, raising his eyebrows.

Ross suddenly pulled Dan into a hug. "Yeah, man! Don't let anyone judge you either, alright? At least not aloud." Dan smiled thoughtfully, quickly pulling away. "Thanks, guys..." he said. "And Ross?"

Ross grinned at him. "Yeah?" he asked. Dan gave a sweet smile. "Don't hug me."

Arin managed to squeeze himself between Ross and Dan and wrapped his arms around his best friend, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "Told you you could do it, boo."

•••

"I've looked everywhere and I can't find him--Oh, wait. Just found him!" Arin said, closing the front door. "He was sitting out here on the porch just stargazing. Sorry for wasting your time, Bri." He hung up.

Dan didn't even turn to look at him. He just continued staring at the beautiful blue sky. It wasn't quite night yet, but the sun was already gone. Dan hadn't spotted any stars yet.

"I've been lookin' for you, man," Arin said, slipping his phone into his pocket. He walked over to sit next to Dan, their feet resting on the first step. "Whatcha doin' out here? Just needed a little break?"

Dan finally looked at him, a cute content smile on his face. "Pretty much," he answered. "Besides, the sky is gorgeous tonight!"

"Not as gorgeous as you, that's for sure." Arin said softly. Dan chuckled lightly. He then leaned back, resting his head on his arms. Arin copied him.

"You're right, it is lovely..." the younger man mumbled. Dan leaned up and scooted closer to his lover, resting his head in the crook of Arin's arm.

Dan closed his eyes, letting Arin pet his hair. "I love you more than anything, you know that?" Arin asked after a few minutes, speaking softly. Dan didn't respond.

"Also, you're really damn cute when you're sleeping." Arin whispered.

•••

March 17, 2016

"And then there was this one guy who told me to go die in a barn fire or something," Dan giggled. "He's like, 'I hope you die in a barn fire, you gay piece of garbage!'" He had a good laugh, but Arin felt concerned.

"Was that the comment you found on your laptop that magically disappeared the day of the Wind Waker finale?" Arin asked. Dan looked up at him with a cute frown on his face. "Yeah," he replied, the smile returning. "I always wondered what happened to it--"

"I deleted it." Arin interrupted. "Technically I reported the comment and banned the user but same thing, right?" Dan's eyes widened. "B-But..." he said softly. "I thought you hated me back then..."

"It's like I said during that one episode a couple months ago," Arin continued, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "I was jealous of you. Everyone else was jealous of you. When I was complimenting you, I meant every single fucking word I said. You've always been more perfect than me, and I hated it at first."

"Thank you..." Dan murmured, closing his eyes with a smile. "But nobody's perfect."

•••


	6. Part 5 (END)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Semi-Decent-Paragraphs-I-Think.

September 14, 2016

Months passed. Arin and Dan have been dating for almost an entire year now, and Arin had decided to do something very special for his friend.

It was only last week that he was sitting on the couch talking to two other friends.

"Oh my fucking God..." Arin groaned. He was sitting on Suzy and Barry's couch, so damn nervous as the couple sat on either side of him.

"It's alright, Arin. You'll do good!" Suzy said encouragingly. Arin looked up, pushing his hair behind his ears. "But what if I do good and he says no?" he started. "Or worse, what if I do bad and he says no? What if we break up and--"

"You'll do fine," Barry interrupted. "Just stay calm, remember your poem, and don't freak out if he says no. But there's no guarantee that he will say no." Arin sighed. "Alright..."

Remembering they had worked hard for Barry and Suzy's special day just a week before, Arin was going to give his friends more work to do by "upgrading" his and Dan's relationship.

Arin decided he was going to do this special thing for Dan during the end slate of today's episode, making it a little longer than usual. Kevin would title it "Upgraded Relationship" just for lols and supposed excitement.

"Welcome back to GameGrumps," Arin said, beaming with newfound joy. "This is going to be a very special episode for me and Dan."

Dan raised an eyebrow, smiling. "Why?" he asked. "Is this the day we finally fuck on camera?" Arin chuckled. "You'll see, Daniel." he answered. Dan may've been calm on the outside, but he was all jittery and excited on the inside.

Dan kept asking Arin why this one specific episode was so special, but he always said to wait. "It's not gonna happen till the end slate, dude." Arin said, smiling dumbly at his friend. Dan sighed, narrowing his eyes. He felt like a child impatiently waiting for candy.

Finally, the end slate came. Arin glanced at the very excited Dan before digging something out of his pocket. Dan nearly stopped breathing when he saw what Arin was holding.

"I've recited this every night for a month, making sure I have it in my head and in my heart," Arin began. "Two whole years of loving you but not dating you after you joined Grumps has been pure agony, and I'm sure it's been the same for you." Dan's lip trembled.

"I promise you, no one will work harder to make you happy and cherish you more than me. So, Leigh Daniel Avidan, will you make me the happiest man alive...and marry me?" Arin finished, opening up the little velvet blue box to reveal a gold-colored wedding band with his own name on it.

"Oh my God..." Dan whispered, tearing up. "Yes! A million times yes!" Arin slipped the ring onto Dan's finger before they shared a kiss. Arin wrapped his arms around his soon-to-be husband.

"I never thought I'd get this far..." Dan said softly, never wanting Arin to let him go. "So, I guess...Danny wins." He chuckled lightly.

The millions of people who saw Upgraded Relationship absolutely flipped their shit. Arin had announced on Twitter that the wedding would be in about a week or so.

Some people weren't exactly happy about the whole gay thing, but they were ignored by the Grumps and the millions of fans who had supported Dan and Arin's relationship from the very start.

"I now pronounce you Grump and Not So Grump." said the minister before Arin kissed Dan, for he had been a huge GameGrumps fan.

Suzy made sure her friends had an amazing wedding, seeing how they and the others had done the same for her and Barry, and had even demanded for a pink tie for Arin.

Luckily they had one or someone would've died during her angry rampage. Dan had been super nervous about everything, but Arin assured him it would all be over before he knew it.

•••

"Even our honeymoon was interesting, and that's an understatement." Dan said. He and Arin were playing a stupid Wii game for GameGrumps VS.

"So you liked it?" Arin asked in a hopeful tone. Dan giggled. "Of course! Also, I'm free this weekend so do you wanna do anything?"

Arin smiled sweetly, stopping his character from moving any farther to let Dan win the race. "I'm free too, so I think I'm gonna spend my weekend right here with my best friend."

•••

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was too short but I don't give a shit. lol


	7. Part 5 (rewritten for my amusement)

September 14, 2016

Dan entered the basement, sighing in relief as he noticed Arin stand up from his computer chair. “There you are!” he exclaimed, giving his friend a brief hug. “You scared the shit out of m--”

“I have a question for you,” interrupted Arin, taking a fake Pokéball out of his pocket and handing it to his co-host. “Open it.” Dan stared at the ball for a second, confused as to why Arin was giving him this. “O...kaaay, t-that's not a question, but--”

He gasped, his eyes widening as he saw the words ‘I choose you! Will you marry me?’ next to a little heart, all scrawled in permanent marker on a little piece of paper stuffed in the top half of the plastic ball.

A small wedding band made from fake gold had Arin's name etched into it in the middle of two tiny hearts, and it had been carefully placed in a folded up piece of paper.

Dan let out a tiny squeak-like whimper, covering his mouth with one hand as he continued to stare at the paper. Afraid to say anything, he didn't do such much as even give a tiny nod as his eyes brimmed with tears.

“It…” he breathed, handing everything back to Arin in one messy pile. “I...I just…” He closed his eyes tight, briefly covering his face with his hands. “I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to say. I didn't know anyone cared about me as much as you do…”

Arin gave him a gentle kiss. “So, yeah…” he said softly, taking out the wedding band and shoving everything else back into his pocket. “Sorry if it's dumb and not super fancy, since...all I could afford was the stuff I got here. The guys helped me buy the ring, of course. B-But...do you wanna be my player two?”

Dan’s lip trembled and he finally gave a small nod, covering his mouth with one hand once more and holding out the other so Arin could place the ring on his finger. He quickly rubbed his eyes, closing his eyes tight as Arin wrapped his arms around his friend.

The basement door suddenly opened, Ross trudging down the stairs. “Hey, dudes.” He glanced at them as he rushed over to his computer. “What's wrong?” Dan gave a tiny whimper, pulling away from Arin and grabbing his hand as he faced Ross.

“N-Nothing’s wrong, dude. I’m finally gonna get married. The love of my love just proposed to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :/ I felt as if the original wasn't serious enough (neither is pokemon proposals but shut up) but I decided to leave the original as another chapter...whatever the fuck that may mean. If you're lucky, the whole story will be written because I can never seem to satisfy myself. This chapter was shorter than God's dick but I don't really care.


End file.
